Fear

My biggest fear in the world is not accomplishing my goals or aspiring to be more than I can achieve/ I’m always worried that my dreams are too big and I won’t accomplish them. My husband often tells me that I’m just fine the way that I am and that if I don’t accomplish anything it won’t matter. My biggest goal is to have a successful family restaurant with my husband. We want to own a southern style restaurant hopefully soon. I’m always worried that we won’t accomplish that and that we will have to work at jobs we hate just to support ourselves. It’s very important to me that we achieve this goal so that our future children see that you can do anything that you set your mind to. I want them to realize the value of hard work and dedication. And hopefully when they get older they can work at the restaurant as well. I’m terrified of the possibility of not being the perfect role model for my children. Because of this, it is a little unsettling to hear the voice in the back of my head say that these goals might be a little too large or a little too far down the road.

Another fear that I have is losing any of my loved ones. My parents aren’t in the greatest of health, my dad has been the victim of many heart problems and my mom’s health has been declining due to taking care of my dad for so long. I constantly struggle with the fact that my parents might not be around long enough to meet or enjoy their grandchildren. I know that they would love having a grandchild but so far, it hasn’t been in the cards for me and my husband. I also fear losing my husband. I often have nightmares about losing him in a freak accident. I know these fears are wildly irrational but it’s hard to shake that feeling.

Fear is a big part of, I believe, everyone’s daily life. It is just a matter of rising up and striking down that little voice in your head. Unfortunately that is not the easiest thing in the world. At a certain point, you have to either beat your fears or get buried underneath them. Fear can be a good or a bad thing. Some people see fear as a way to better yourself, thinking that if you can conquer those fears, you will be stronger. Others use fear as a kind of negative reinforcement. Either way is fine, though I believe that

We will have to work at jobs we hate just to support ourselves

The voice in the back of my head is constantly telling me to better myself so that my husband and I won’t have to work forever. It is always telling me to make sure that every decision I make is something that will benefit our future. It’s the reason that I’m in college and the reason I have plans to further myself after a business degree. It’s the reason that I’m constantly pushing my husband to try new things in the kitchen. I want for us to be successful business owners so badly but things like that don’t just happen overnight. It takes years of hard work and dedication to that dream. I just don’t want to waste my life doing a job I hate to make ends meet. Waste my life working rather than pursuing dreams, crossing things off my bucket list, or spending time with my loved ones. I want to make sure that I do as many things as possible, learn as many things as I can, read and dance and love until my heart overflows. I want to give my husband and my future children everything I can. I want to make sure that they want for nothing. That they are fulfilled and content without being spoiled. Doing this requires me to work as hard as I can now to ensure that I won’t have to later on. It requires me to push my husband to work overtime so that he can open his dream restaurant and be able to retire whenever he wants. I want to enjoy the time I have left with my parents, so that I never have to wonder if I did enough for them or worry that I didn’t say the right thing. It’s very important to me that I’m able to enjoy as much as possible in the world and never have to regret not doing anything.

The future is a very scary world. It’s unknown and real and very overwhelming at times. Knowing that it’s coming no matter what I do is terrifying.

It’s the reason that I’m in college and the reason I have plans to further myself after a business degree.

Right now I’m pursuing an associate’s degree in small business management. I am pursuing it because I want to be able to manage the business my husband and I start up. That is my dream job. Unfortunately, a small business management degree doesn’t get you a job right away. It looks good on a resume but doesn’t get the door open all the way. I think that after I finish this degree, I am going to try to go into a nursing program or a veterinary tech program. My whole life I wanted to be a veterinarian and work with animals and then one day I just woke up and decided that I wanted to own my own business, so from that point forward all my gears shifted towards achieving that goal. But now that I’m on the right track for my business, I’ve kind of started looking at the veterinary idea again. I’ve sort of been able to uncloud my head from being so wrapped around business. I’m now able to look at it in a way that my business degree is for the future but I could be a vet tech for my present. Have a dream degree and a practical degree. And who knows? Maybe after the restaurant is open and successful I could open a veterinary practice or a dog shelter. And use those skills as well. After taking a break from school and now being back in, it really makes me want to pursue more education. It makes me want to learn as much as I can but use it in practical way. Fadfakldfakdjflakjdflkajdlkfj;aldkjfa;ldkjfaldkjfa;ldkjflajdfajfjfdjfddfdfdadfadfadfadfadffffffffffffff

Education is really important to me because of the way it just fills you up inside. I get very fulfilled when I think about learning and potentially bettering myself for my future. Fadadadf this is very hard to put my ideas into writing…….

The moment that kind of sealed the deal on moving in the direction of a vet tech or even a veterinary degree was when I told my parents about my ideas and the way my mom’s face lit up with the words veterinarian came out of my mouth. She always wanted that for me.